A Poem about Letting Go.

I’m trying to get back into the habit of writing.

I will say, once again, that 2013 was a great year. But, when the new year rolled around and we looked back on all that was accomplished… I was frustrated at how little I had documented my thoughts along the way.

Now, don’t get me wrong.. I still tweet and text and post pictures. Yet, it has become harder and harder for me to sit down and actually put my reflections on paper. Or at least flesh them out in a format that allows for more than 140 characters.

Growing up in the digital age puts a strain on how well you can articulate your thoughts. And this way of connecting allows us to filter how genuine you are with those messages. Because these social networks are limited to primarily a one-way form of communication, we splice our thoughts and ideas into small digestible pieces. Then, we fill the airwaves with blurbs about our existence in the hopes that someone will catch it above the noise.

Instead of initiating real connections, we have little “sips” of online conversation.. hoping it will amount the illusion of meaningful connection. But, what scares me most about my “adjustment” to this form of communication is the way that it distracts me from staying in tune with how I truly feel.

Do something today that your future self with thank you for.

It’s easy enough to fill our day to day with these kinds of connections. The posts on your wall receive more attention then the things that are on your mind. Because, in reality, those things are simpler to handle. Many of our days our consumed with tasks that distract our mind from our personal perceptions. Our views become muddled with the thoughts of others, and this overwhelming exposure to their activity makes it easy to feel like you’re filling the void.

It’s certainly hard for me to really pay attention to the million thoughts that zip through my mind every moment. It’s hectic in there.  And I’ve noticed the strain this has put on my ability to articulate my thoughts, to express my ideas, and to communicate my theory behind  them. I plan on spending the rest of my life seeking out incredible individuals and organizations that see the good in the world and who are determined to find ingenious ways to create more. But, these are ideas that have yet to be discovered. In fact, I feel that some of them may be buried deep in my cerebral cortex at this very moment.  However, those ideas will never come to life if I’m not able to honestly share them with others.

That’s really why I’m here.

Because in the days when I feel like Instagram is the only social network in which I can find peace, I know there is a need to preserve my ability to USE MY WORDS.

So, in this new year, I’ve decided to commit to a thought I’ve been entertaining for a while. As you may know, I’m a fan of pretty words and beautiful sentiments… two things I believe are most perfectly expressed in poetry. I’ve always loved writing little poems. My parents will tell you they were the recipients of these silly poems quite often. I even sent my little sister to college with my words of advice captured in the rhyming fashion. Plus, the Bear and I have big plans to write many children’s books.… which I think are more fun to read when they rhyme!

So, once a month I will break my normal routine of tweets and pins and posts… to try something more long form. And more genuine.

I hope you enjoy this first attempt….

A Poem About Letting Go.

By: Me. 

By tomorrow, today will have ended.

And a different path will start.

There will be damage you could have mended.

If you start by falling apart.

LET GO of thoughts that don’t make you feel strong

For you can overcome the most difficult task.

Trust that you will find where you’re meant to belong.

This journey will answer questions you’d never thought to ask.

LET GO of regrets that distract your mind

Free your world of thoughts that are petty.

You will find that it is necessary to leave them behind,

Simply for the reason that they are heavy.

LET GO of worrying that wastes your time,

And the “what if’s” that you needlesly flaunt.

Because allowing yourself to continue that climb,

Uses your imagination to create something you don’t want.

LET GO of blame and the thoughts that ensue

Saying that to be happy you need someone’s help.

Because although you act like the world is against you,

it’s really just you against yourself.

LET GO of thinking your dreams aren’t important.

You must resist the urge to stand still.

Believe in the actions your goals certainly warrant.

Because doubt will kill more dreams than failure ever will.

LET GO of the thinking that this is not where you belong.

Because, regardless, it’s where you are today.

And know that it’s hard to tell right from wrong

When you aren’t ready to see them that way.

LET GO of your need to feel superior…

To the others that you may have fought.

You will learn that life becomes easier

When you can accept an apology you never really got.

LET GO of your impatience

And the need to ask for more.

Do the best you can until you know better.

Then when you know better. Do better than before.

LET GO of being a know it all.

Because there’s a lot you’ll never see.

And because what trips us up most of all

is how we picture things are should be.

LET GO of the doubt that can numb your heart

…banish negativity altogether.

Because sometimes things must fall apart

So even better things can fall together. 

LET GO of your urge to ask for more

A simple sentiment to see you through:

The secret to really having it all

is knowing you already do.

What will you be letting go of this year?

Or tell me what your focus is this month. 

Give me some inspiration for next month’s addition!!

xoxo,

the littlest bear.

Meet Our New Puppy!

I’d like you to meet ‘Stache Dash Barkley The Magnificent. 

Or just ‘Stache for short.

This little lady is the newest addition to the Bear family, and we love her like CRAZY.

The Bear and I have been talking about getting a dog for some time now. We had made some tentative plans to find one for our 1 year anniversary. We’ve both wanted a dog of our own forever, and now that we found each other.. we just couldn’t wait!

If you know anything about us, you know we like being outside. Bear is an avid runner and we are REALLY into hiking. Plus, with Bear finding plenty of work as a graphic designer he spends a lot of time at home.  We figured a dog would make an excellent addition to our lives.

After looking at listings for many adorable puppies online, (Petfinder and PetHarbor… in case you’re looking for a critter of your own) we decided we needed to try to see a few in person. I pulled some strings and bribed some friends to get of my normal Sunday Brunch shift at FarmShop, and we made plans to embark on the Search for ‘Stache.

We spent Sunday morning driving to a few shelters in West LA and even to a pet adoption fair. We weren’t able to find any young dogs at these places, and we knew we wanted a puppy. We also definitely wanted to rescue a dog, so one of the nice women working at the shelter suggested we go to the Westside German Shepherd Rescue.   They were having an event downtown, so we jumped in our car and headed that way.

After some waiting and filling out some paper work, we were introduced to one BIG shepherd and Chow mix. Though he was a big lovable mutt, he was no puppy.

At this point they introduced us to “Lexus” the little pup sitting behind the counter with the girls working at the shelter. One of those women had been fostering Lexus, who had just been dropped off at the rescue the day before.  A 7 month old German Shepherd mix. But she’s just a little lady. Smaller than the average Shepherd, with shorter hair, and the BIGGEST ears that I’ve ever seen.

and I love them. 

So, we snuck off to a little room to get acquainted with this adorable and cheery little rugrat. We quickly warmed up to one another, and soon were playing fetch and she was snuggling up to be petted and give kisses.

The Bear’s were smitten…. she  had to come home with us 🙂

It’s day two with our new family member.

 And we could not be happier with our wonderful little munchkin.

There have been many treats given and many walks taken.

We’ve played fetch and snuggled on the couch.

She’s gotten used to her crate, and got lots of practice reviewing “sit” and “stay.”

Mostly, we’ve spent the last 30+ hours smothering her with love and reminding her how happy we that she’s here. This little lady will never want for anything again… and will always have a loving home with these bears.

Her name doesn’t lie… she really is Magificent. 

Bear Adventure Day.

I like January.

The promise of a fresh new year is on everyones mind. It’s a clean slate. A new year of opportunities, a year to create, a year to discover, a year to be active, a year to be challenged. It is a new year to be better than before.

Everyone wants to be believe this is their year.

I am definitely one of those people.

That 12 went to a 13 and I couldn’t be more excited about all these new adventures.

And a new year to love this Bear.

Over the last few months, my irratic work schedule has made it a little difficult for us to enjoy the great outdoors as much as we would have liked. Working 2 jobs -serving brunch at one and dinner at the other makes it hard to plan a time to escape.

But, this new year is a time for these Bears to focus on their passions. Spending time with our families over the holiday gave us some fresh perspective.

Though we are burdened by the problems of our generation (excessive student loans and limited job opportunities), we’re keeping a positive perspective. 2013 is a year for us to work hard and invest in the kind of life we want to have, and not to focus on the kind of living we want to make. Though we may be poor, we are also young, healthy, in love, and living in Southern California.

If we don’t have the perspective to utilize this spectacular year..we’re are out of our minds.

With that in mind, I’d like to introduce something we have come to call…

What is Bear Adventure day?

• It is a day reserved to go on an adventure.
• 24 Hours set aside to explore a new place, try something different, venture into the great outdoors, step out of your comfort zone, create something beautiful, learn something fascinating, and/or eat something delicious.
• You are to embark on this adventure with an open mind, you are to be curious, and inquisitive.
• You must be determined to amass as much joy and gratitude as you are able to in 1 day.
• It is meant to remind you of how lucky you are.
• This stock of “positive vibes” will be something to feed off for the next week… because let’s be serious, not every day is this good.
• A 24 hour Pursuit of Happiness.
• Positive perspective required.
• Sleeping in is optional.

Bear adventure days have been a part of our relationship since the beginning. Bear and I spend our first date exploring the Farmer’s Market and strolling the beach, and within 24 hours we were climbing a mountain. We have always been ones to seek out adventure, and with our combined efforts it’s pretty easy to find them… and even more easy to enjoy them.

This week our Bear Adventure Day fell on a Thursday. This is my one day off a week, and this time we knew we had to use it wisely.

At work this week, I asked around to see if there were any “hidden gems” in Los Angeles that I hadn’t heard about. Suggestions were made. A picnic was packed. Hiking shoes were worn. And we were off to spend our first Bear Adventure Day of 2013.

And it looked a little something like this…

Hydrating on the Pacific Coast Highway. A short road trip along the coast and into the Santa Monica Mountains.

Stop at Pepperdine University for the best view of the ocean. Bears like to sit and stare at beautiful things.

Followed by a Picnic along Malibou Lake. Before we were scared away by a particularly angry goose.

Trailblazing with the bear, Into the Woods to explore Peter Strauss park.

Taking time to appreciate our surroundings, especially the trees. I have a lot of respect for trees, so many of them are much older than I am.

Crunching through a pile of leaves.

Little Bears Really like to play with leaves.

This Bear Really Likes them too.

Bear gives the littlest flower to the littlest bear.

We Mark our Territory.. Can you Spot the Bears?

Using what’s left of the Sunshine to Support the ‘Stache. This is Bear, the official Mustache Model.

The ‘Stache Supports: Bear Adventure Day.

After a trip to HomeDepot, 2 fabric stores, and of course a stop for dinner.. we headed home for some Bearcave DIY. New Curtains!

We were too tired to do the other window, so we turned bear into a Ninja instead.

We finished off the day by attempting to watch Dark Knight Rises. Though Christopher Nolan didn’t stand a chance when it comes to 2 sleep bears on the couch. We both fell asleep during the first 20 minutes.

A very successful Bear Adventure Day.

To top it all off, Bear was hired as the new Graphic Designer for Tutor Doctor yesterday! I am so proud of him.

Today is back to reality. Bear was up early to teach Middle School Phys Ed this morning, and I am preparing for my 4 shifts over the next 3 days. It’s safe to say that yesterday will be the best day of the week. But, as I head into work tonight, there will definitely be a little more pep in my step.

I will ask others what they did with their week, what they are doing with their weekend..

I will tell them about the great adventure I went on yesterday.. and maybe I’ll even encourage them to plan an adventure of their own…

I will try my hardest to enjoy these next few days by recalling this perfect day I spent with bear, and plenty of time spent planning our next.

I can be a little more positive by knowing that we are making an effort to make this life as much of an adventure as we can.

Are you?

A very lucky little bear.

I read something tonight and it struck a nerve.
A clear, concise perspective.

“Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be.  Don’t think that you’ve lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to now… And now is right on time.” – Asha Tyson

It’s easy to take stock of all the sources of negativity in your life, and for me it’s even easier to be overly critical of how they got there.

But I like this perspective. It’s what I’ve come to know as rational optimism.  It’s a way to have faith in good without forgetting it’s a work in progress. Everything we do is a work in progress, and sometimes that “progress” seems to be coming a bit slowly. 

This year has been a great year for this little bear.

I feel as if I’ve come to terms with a lot of passion that had been undiscovered. I’ve journaled and jotted down so many ideas, and plans for the future. We’ve schemed and plotted new course for the bears… and prepared for an increase in AWESOME.

And then things got a little stressful.

I soon found myself distracted by the “human restraints” of life. The long hours that quickly turned to 2 jobs, and the bank account that seemed to dwindle. As these last few weeks have passed, I’ve discovered my 60hr work weeks have taken toll on my productivity. And my perspective.

But as per usual, Bear saves the day.

Tonight as we sat on our couch discussing all the stresses of our “human” life.. Bear was there to remind me of the reasons I’ve come to call this year my best one yet.

It is not because I suddenly lost the anxiety or because I was released of some burden. I merely gained perspective.

And 2012 has taught me that Perspective is Everything. 

I believe that happiness can be controlled. It may not be easy. It may in fact be down right tedious, but it is in FACT our CHOICE.

And there is no trick to maintaining happiness. Every day is a new challenge, but it’s also a new adventure. We can crawl into bed at night and feel defeated by the day. (A feeling I’ve been familiar with these days) OR, you can shimmy under the covers knowing you tried your best…. your VERY BEST to do good. You fall asleep knowing that today you pulled that ore harder than anyone else. And you made an honest effort to be worthy of the opportunity you’ve been given.

That’s all we can hope for. No one is innately more deserving than others. Our luck is random. Things just happen. And for better or worse, we have to try to honor what ever luck we are given.

And after looking back through the NovemBEAR Adventures..

I’m lucky to live in a place where we can go for a hike.. in November.

I’m lucky to work at a place where they make THIS for “Family Meal.”

I’m lucky that this bear likes boardgames as much as I do.

I’m lucky to have friends that make us incredible meals… while being pretty damn incredible themselves.

I’m lucky to have a creative outlet that brings me so much joy.

I’m lucky to be able to ride my bike to work, and to have a bear that will drive me when it’s cold.

I’m lucky to have someone to decorate a tree with.

I’m lucky to be this little bear in the little ‘stache.

And I’m most lucky because of this bear. I was so very lucky to find him.

I know I have had quite some luck.

I’m actually quite a happy little bear, and I do believe I was molded for the greater good.

All of the moments, the good and the bad, have culminated to this moment. The moment when I can say with confidence that I’m happy to be right where I am.

I’m happy to be living this life, and pursuing happiness as a means of success.

I’m certainly not an expert in it all the time.

But I think I could learn to be.  

After all, I’m a rational optimist.

Mr. Rogers and a Lesson in Gratitude.

 

All of us have special ones who have loved us into being.

Make them proud.

Brighten the world with your kindness.

 

We’re in this Together: A Tale of Two Bears.

The last week has been a little hard in the Bear Cave.

A slow time at work for me and a lack of subbing jobs for Bear have resulted in some financial anxiety. So, we’ve been trying to do what we can. Lay low. Eat in. Work on our Resumes.

 

As we both search for new jobs, we’re continuing to work on our  own master schemes.

We’re big on making lists in this house. In fact, I’ve always been one for making lists. Maybe because I like the act of crossing things off.

So, imagine my delight when I came home from a frustrating day at work to this…

 The BIG list of things… by Bear 

This list was exactly what I needed. Because it reminded me of a couple things that I had forgotten.

It’s true that this isn’t the easiest time in our lives. We’re far from rich or even financially stable. We’re searching for jobs. We’ve eaten peanut butter and jelly for 4 meals this week. I just paid my monthly student loans of $800. And I’m avoiding taking my car to the mechanic for fear of  what they’ll say. These points along with another medley of problems is enough to create some anxiety. Well within reason.

But when I look at this list, I realize how ridiculous that is. I’ve been so scared and anxious this past week. Worrying about whether or not it was all going to work out. Nervous that I may not solve all our problems.

Then I look at this list Bear made. And it’s a perfect reminder of why is so silly to be this scared.

Regardless of all the trials and tribulations I’m sure we will face. In spite of the obstacles I’m sure we’ll have to overcome. I know it will  be okay.

Because somehow I was lucky enough to find the love of my life at 23 years old. I know with 150% of my being that James Barracca was made for me. I know that he is the greatest man I’ve ever met, and the Bear I’ll love everyday for the rest of my life.

I know that all of the amazing experiences I have will be shared with him. Just as I know that all challenges I face will as well.

Some how in only 8 months, we’ve both decided that we’re in this together. And that is what makes everything easier. Knowing that from now on… I don’t have to go through it alone..

All because I found this Bear. 

What a lucky Little Bear  I am.

Building the Bear Cave – Time to get creative.

When Bear and I moved into the new Santa Monica bear cave, our budgets were tight.

Real tight. June was a busy month.

Lot’s of adventures and closing the 4 weeks out with a 6 day marathon. (or at least what felt like it.)

It went kind of like this:

From Work on a Thursday directly to the airport. LAX – PHX – JFK. The Bears in the Big City. Bear meets the Hofrichter’s.

It looked kind of like this: 

Family. Dunkin’. Skyline.

Family. Hoboken. Pancakes.

Sisters. Silly faces. Bear.

Sister. Stache.

Family. Square. Stache.

Bear. Rain. Brooklyn Bridge.

Ladies. Park. Pretty.

bears. pancakes. sketches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

30 hrs later, we were on a train to Long Island.

Where I met then met a LOT of Barracca’s. And I loved it.

2 Families. 1 Weekend.

 Boom. 

4am Monday Morning we left for JFK.

JFK-PHX-LAX.

Then straight to work for me, and bear started the move from our 2 apartments to the new 1.

We were poor and exhausted and running on excitement.

Bears. Moving in. First things in the closet.

We were moving in together. And into a beautiful place. We really couldn’t be happier.

19 blocks from the ocean. Quiet, home-y, palm tree-lined street. High wood beam ceilings. New hard wood floors. and a lot more space than we originally had.

But, with less stuff than it would take to fill it.

We needed a plan. So, we made a list.

Bear Cave: Needs and Wants.

The list was long. And we couldn’t afford it all at once.

We bargain hunted, borrowed and found it all as cheap as we could. Crossing things off the list as we went.

Plus,  I finally got a chance to use all of those cool ideas I had found on Pinterest!

And we came up with quite a few on our own.

Almost Two Months Later, and it FEELS like a bear cave in here.

And we’re in love with it. 

Gallery Wall. Ladder Shelves. Living Room.

String Letters. Mustache Clock. Rake Wine Rack.

Coat rack. Tree. Crates. Entry way.

Clothespin Gallery Wall. Bear Sketches. Notes. Pictures.

Tree Branches. Rope. Fabric. Our new Permanent Fort.

Many trips to home depot. Antique Sales and Estate Sales. Sketches and plans. Tape Measures and Calculators.

We’ve cut and sanded. Stained and painted. Drilled and Hammered.

For the most part, things never went as planned. But some how, they all turned out better.

Wondering how we did it all? Putting together the DIY list now…

here are some of the things we came up with:

• Bottle rack bookshelf
• Vintage Crate Shoe Rack
• Scrap Wood Coat Rack TREE
• Ladder Shelves
• Vintage Cart TV Stand
• Chalkboard Scrabble Table
• Gallery Wall
• Clipboard Wall
• EAT String letters
• Clothespin Gallery Wall
• A Wall of Chalkboard
• The Fort
• coming soon: Sequoia Branch Chandelier.

So, it turns out that the bears are pretty handy. And we can’t wait to throw our first Cave Party. 

But for now, there is banana bread in the oven and parents in town visiting.

More adventures in bear cave DIY to come (and explanations for the completed projects to follow)..

Stay tuned!

-little bear

The Day Big Bear met Little Bear.

February 19th, 2012.

The day I found my BEAR. 

This day was by far the most significant moment of the year.

And today (exactly 6 months later) is the perfect day to celebrate what an outstanding day it was.

Because 6 Months ago, I met James Barracca… and it changed my life forever.

Before I met the bear, I didn’t know that “love” would actually seem like an understatement. I didn’t know I’d get to meet my counterpart. My partner in crime.

I didn’t know that I could make everyday seem like a vacation. I didn’t know I could spend every day going on adventures with my best friend. I didn’t know this was coming.

And I didn’t know I could ever adore him so much.

The Big bear to my little bear.

I had no idea I was about to meet the man bear that I’d spend the rest of my life with.

Oh, January Suzi, you were so naive.

She had no idea.

Because I do not just love this man. I somehow found someone that has become part of who I am. The person that I no longer think of as a separate unit.

I love him like I love my arm. It’s not just an infatuation. It’s a need. It’s vital.

When the Bears met, it was game over. Done searching.

The bears became a team.

And incase you didn’t know… bears are for life.

big bear and little bear

See the resemblance?

So, six months later, I sit in our beautiful apartment just 19 blocks from the ocean. Our desk overlooks a palm tree lined street.

Not too shabby for a bear cave.

Reminiscing about how much fun we had Fun.

(We went to the concert to celebrate SEIS last night!)

Bears at a concert.

I had an OREO FUDGE BROWNIE for breakfast this morning.

(Left over from Bear’s Seis gift)…

Oreo Fudge Brownies. The greatest thing I’ve ever made.

And Bear is back on his piano… inspired to create more things like this…

The Fort Song. Written and Performed in Our First Fort.

My life is grand.

And as an addition to my SEIS (6 Month) gift to bear, I’d like to review just why I think he’s the bees knees.

It all started on a lovely Santa Monica Sunday Morning.

I met the bear at the Main Street  Farmer’s Market in Santa Monica.  Our first adventure. We wandered aisles of produce and ate burritos as we watched little kids play at the petting zoo. But, a few hours at the market was not enough time together. So, we wandered the beach path for hours afterward.Back and forth from Santa Monica to Venice. Over and over.

Discussing every topic we could think of. He was wonderful. We were syncing up on every level. And I loved it.

As we made our 6th trip back from Venice, our legs were tired and it was time to head home. But only after making plans to climb our first mountain the very next day.

Less than 24 hours later, we were back together. Traversing the trails of the Santa Monica Mountains. Followed by ice cream on our bench, and planning our next great adventure.

I already loved him.

Temescal Trail. The Bear’s First Hike.

We decided early on that everyday together felt like a vacation.  And I liked that feeling.

On numerous occassions we would find ourselves saying things at the same time, calling at the exact same time, humming the same song, singing the same lyric, and quite literally having the same thoughts.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that when it comes to the great search we are all embarking on… well, my search was over. I had found someone who was meant for me. Just me.

And I knew even then, I didn’t ever want to be without it.

So, I called dibs. My bear.

He’s all I ever needed.

The Adventures of BIG Bear and little Bear Began…

my bear. for life.